April 29, 2022 – Update video from Michaela
Real talk haha – I’ve found it harder than I anticipated to give honest updates on my time here in CR. I’m paralyzed by the ironic burden of freedom, and as weird as that sounds, I don’t know how else to express it. My mind is confused, but my spirit is so clear; my mind is overwhelmed, but my spirit is at peace; my mind is still processing and planning and organizing and filing every piece of information, every memory, every healing, every breakthrough, but my spirit is resting and dwelling in the beauty of the Lord. If you asked me, I’d tell you I wished my head was a bit clearer, that I was able to be a bit more present than I have been lately, but I would also tell you that this is the best I’ve been… ever. The Lord is confronting so much in my heart; of course my brain would be foggy for a bit. I’ve been living one way for so long; of course it would be a shock to bring so many pieces of my life onto the narrow path.
He’s confronting my distaste for women’s ministry before my very eyes. I’m convicted by the assumptions I’ve made about my own sisters; they’re all just projections of my own insecurities. I’m continually surprised by how much He wants to use His daughters to carry out His plans and purposes, and I’m continually convicted by the fact that I would ever be surprised by that. It’s revealing lies about myself that I didn’t know I believed.
He’s confronting my fear of vulnerability; I didn’t even know I had that anymore. He’s showing me the strategies I’ve developed to keep my secrets close as I pretend to open myself up. I’m seeing that I’m not as honest as I thought I was; I’m not as honest as I could be. I’m certainly not as honest as He is.
He’s confronting my fear of others’ opinions. Oh boy, is He doing that. I never knew I cared so much about the approval of total strangers, but that’s proving to be a heavier burden than I realized, and I’m quite honestly terrified to see what my range of motion will be once that’s finally off my shoulders. He’s confronting that fear too.
He’s confronting my fear of death, suffering, loss, grief, and pain. He’s teaching me that the greater loss is to look back on my life and regret the way I handled the gifts He gave me. He’s teaching me that the greatest joy and the highest honor is to lay down my entire life for Him, because that’s what He did for me.
He’s confronting the passivity that I’ve grown so accustomed to that I’ve considered it a part of my identity. I’m learning that one of the enemy’s greatest tactics is to convince us not to do anything. We may not fall for his temptations to turn away from God, but his next best is to prevent us from doing anything for God.
And finally, I think the greatest miracle I’ve seen so far is that the Lord is confronting the unbelief that I’ve kept hidden in my heart. For as long as I’ve been in the church (my entire life), I’ve held at least some level of reservation toward the message of the Gospel. Phrases such as “Jesus died for your sins” or “Repent and believe” or even “Jesus loves you” could never leave my mouth because all I heard was condemnation, and that’s what I expected everyone else to hear as well. I knew it was my job to lead others to Christ, but how could I do that when the good news was so… bad? I had accepted Jesus as my Savior and my God, but I had somehow managed to attach sorrow to that fact, as if it was now my great burden to try to convince other people that “He’s really not as bad as people tell you” and “I promise, we’re not all hateful” and “It’s sometimes even fun, I swear” …. Ouch. This revealed itself in the form of me preferring discipleship over evangelism, never speaking life over my friends, and even slandering the very bride of Christ to my non-believer friends in my awful attempts to acknowledge the reality of church hurt. Ouch again. The enemy has very carefully painted the lie of condemnation in between the lines of the Gospel message, and I completely fell for it. I didn’t believe the good news was actually good! I had accepted it for myself, and I still saw it as a weight I had to drag around with me everywhere. I was free, but I lived like I was more chained up than anybody else! Put simply, I didn’t believe that the message of the Gospel actually had the power to save anyone, so I was terrified to tell anyone. The Lord has been turning sooo many things around in my heart. I’m learning the pure beauty of redemption. I’m being reintroduced to salvation as a joy, not a burden. I’m learning that evangelism is not an area of ministry, a task for extreme extroverts, or reserved for the “Super Christians” among us. Evangelism is what happens when you see how good God is and you can’t possibly keep it to yourself anymore. Had you asked me a few months ago how I defined evangelism, I probably would have told you the same thing because I’ve been taught well, but I had rarely (maybe never) experienced that as truth in my own personal life. He’s teaching me that the Gospel is the story of Him inviting us back into the life and purpose that He created us for, which is to be in close, real relationship with Him and share in His inheritance as children of God. That’s wild. He’s teaching me that His love goes far beyond what is capable of even being taught, and it’s an honor to be able to invite people into the Kingdom on His behalf.
I have so many stories to share, and I’d love to share all of them, but what I really want to bring you all in on is the work that God has been doing in my own life, in the hopes that it would spark something in yours. Thank you thank you thank you for being the greatest support system I could have ever asked for, and feel free to reach out if you want to call or facetime in my (admittedly limited) free time. I love you!!!!! (3.5.22)
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Testimony! My roommate Chrissy lost hearing in her left ear when she was thirteen years old. Even though she grew up seeing God heal others, she didn’t want to ask for healing for herself because she didn’t want to put herself in a position where God might say no. But during her time here, God has spent some time working through fear & unbelief in her heart. Normally, when people would pray over her, Chrissy would ask them to pray into her right ear so she could hear them. But last Tuesday during a prayer session, someone on Chrissy’s left side started praying over her, and for the entire duration of the prayer, she could hear the woman clearly out of her left ear! When she was done praying, her ear closed up again. But we were believing for full healing. On Thursday night, our house mom Aslinn prayed for her ear to be permanently healed, and Jesus did it! Chrissy can now hear perfectly out of both ears for the first time in seven years! It’s been such a joy to watch her appreciate little things like using both earbuds and experiencing surround sound. This is just one example of some of the crazy stuff God is doing here! (2.4.22)
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Day 4! We’re getting settled into the house, and I’m getting to know the girls I’m living with. Everyone is so much fun! There are 45 students in the program overall. The first few days have been insanely busy, but we’re starting to get into a more consistent routine. Last night we did a bonfire at the beach where we had s’mores & did some worship. I miss everyone at home so much, but the atmosphere here makes it so much easier to adjust. I’m beyond excited for what’s in the future! (1.20.22)
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We flew into LAX yesterday morning, and we’ve been in Huntington Beach for about 24 hours now. Exciting stuff!! The program starts Monday, but I’ve been able to get a pretty good feel of the area so far. An underground volcano erupted out near Tonga earlier today, sending a tsunami toward the West Coast. Thankfully, the only effects here have been closed beaches for the morning and some light rain. Otherwise, the weather has been great! Looking forward to move-in day on Monday! (1.15.22)
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Hello! This is Michaela Bailey, and I’m using this page on my dad’s blog to post updates during my time with Circuit Riders Experience (CRX). January through June of 2022, I’m participating in a discipleship training school with Circuit Riders & YWAM. I’m staying in Huntington Beach, California for three months, where we’ll focus on practical ministry training and local outreach. Then we’ll head on tour for two months, where we will travel to several US cities to host gospel events, serve the community, connect college students to local churches, and spread the word about The Send, which is happening at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City on May 14! I don’t have a specific schedule for posting, but I’ll be sharing updates on some of the fun stuff we do but most importantly all of the crazy things God is doing through this program. Stay tuned!! (1.15.22)